Beware of the Quarantine Bae: Avoiding Toxic Relationships

Are you bored? Tired of social distancing? Waiting for outside to open back up again? Or are you looking at your phone waiting for him/her to text you? Or are you somewhere just living your life and you get a sudden text from an ex?

After doing a small amount of research on the definiton of Quarantine bae. I concluded that no one needs that type of energy in their lives. I have watched videos, looked up the defintiom, there are even dating apps. I also heard a few songs that are titled, "Quarantine Bae." Yes. It really exists. In fact, one of the song lyrics are "I'm gonna spread your legs like it's a pandemic." And I--

Yeah, I just don't know where to start honestly. But I'm sure that they may not be the healthiest decision for some people. So lets talk about the return of the ex and the ways to avoid and heal from toxic relationships. But first, here is a definition from none other than Urban Dictionary, and it sounds pretty "situationship-ish" to me. What do you think?

1. Block and Delete

This is a complicated decision for some people. Some believe that they don't want to block that person because they want the person to know that they're being ignored. Then there are some people who wants the toxic person to see their "glow up." So why block them? There are also some people, me included, who believes that blocking them is the best way. It cuts off all communication. They are unable to see or like your pictures, text/call. They are completely deleted from your life, and it feels cleansing.

Who cares if they think you're bothered? You did bother me, so now I'm going to block you. But that's just how I look at it.

The decision is completely up to you, but there is a chance that if you keep them unblocked, they WILL contact you and you will fall for it and answer. Whether it's to actually talk or tell them to go away, there's a chance you will most likely answer and it will become an ongoing cycle. Don't give yourself that chance by blocking them completely the first time.

2. Journaling

Going through a toxic relationship can be really hard on you. You may have so much to say but no one to say it to, or you don't know how to let it out. Start by journaling; create a diary for yourself and just write whatever comes to mind. Save yourself the hurt of getting of texting those paragraphs only to get a "k" response, or ignored and left on read.

If you're confused on whether your relationship is toxic or not. Create a pros and cons list. If the cons are longer than the pros. Then maybe it's time to let that person go. Being with someone and being emotionally attached can be very hard to break from but always remember that your mind, body, and spirit comes first. if you feel like you're not being yourself, take a step back, think and write. Work on cleasing your thoughts and understanding emotions.

Don't hold yourself back by thinking you need a top of the line journaling book. Grab a notebook, use your phone. It doesn't matter, just write. If it makes you feel better, you can also read your words to yourself, out loud as it can be helpful to hear yourself and really say how you're feeling.

3. Do your Daily Routine

Don't fall into a sad, depressive state. Wake up like you would normally do and do your daily routine (make your bed,shower, brush your teeth, etc.). Go and get dressed. I know quarantining may have taken away your drive to do anything, but you deserve you be clean, fed, groomed, and dressed. Listen to some music (nothing sad), put on an outfit, take some pictures and remind yourself that you are the S word!

4. Find a hobby

After your daily routine is done, don't go back and lay in bed! Don't binge-watch Netflix all day. Find yourself a hobby. If you're tired of not having your hair done, learn how to do it. If your tired of looking at your quarantine toes and nails. Buy yourself a nail kit and learn! Paint, draw, take an online class! The opportunities are endless as we have all this time on our hands. Keep your mind busy and off that toxic relationship!

5. Find your Worm!

When you have healed and have decided that you are ready to get back out there into the dating world, take your past experiences with you. Not the fact that you couldn't trust that ex, so now you feel like you can't trust anyone; but take the fact that you grew from that relationship. You learned more about yourself and you now know what you want and need in your new relationship and you are not accepting less. You and that new partner are able to have a healthy relationship with each other and grow together. They will overall, be your worm.

Of course, these pictures are just jokes, but you really do want to find someone with the qualities you looks for, while also remembering that no one is perfect as well. But of course, don't rush this step! You can began dating again when YOU are 100 percent ready.

I hope this list is helpful and can take you into the right steps to avoid and heal from that negative past.

The answer to this week's riddle is "Because she was running away from the ball."

Hope you all are staying safe! Wherever you are, good morning, good afternoon, good evening, and have a good night! I'll be back to talk "S" word with you all later!

-S